I don't know what "loneliness" means until I come to the KL.
When I was in hometown, I enjoyed reading, writing, studying, and fortune-telling. Life seemed to be so happy and time passed soon. However, when I am alone here, things are different...
Last night I went to a Japanese restaurant to have late dinner at 9:30PM (I finished my work at 9PM). There were many young guys getting together in front of that restaurant. I know it's kinda dangerous to go out alone in the midnight, but what I can do? I was so hungry that I had to behave brave though I was afraid actually.
After entering the restaurant, the waiter asked me "how many people?" I said, "One." "Only one?" he seemed to be surprised by my answer. I was embarrassed, again.
Yeah, I have every dinner alone. Every time waiters would say "only one" with question marks. Hee, they don't know I not only eat alone but also travel alone because... I have no choice!
In fact, I don't like people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend. Most of new friends don't believe that I don't have a boyfriend... that really bothers me. I hate explaining my background again and again. Their curiosity lets me feel "guilty" for having no boyfriend.
I used to enjoying being alone, but not anymore. There are four poor reasons: First of all, in the KL, as a little girl alone here, I have to pretend strong and smart to deal with every event which I never face before. Second, get embarrassed when I go to restaurant or join a tour. Third, feel uncomfortable to answer new friends' questions. Fourth, have to make it clear that I'm not a picky girl but just have no chance.
It's weird... Why people think a young girl should have a boyfriend? Why I cannot have dinner alone? (hee hee, now I only choose those restaurants whose waiters don't ask me with "question mark" :)
It's more weird that I also start hating being alone...
When I was in hometown, I enjoyed reading, writing, studying, and fortune-telling. Life seemed to be so happy and time passed soon. However, when I am alone here, things are different...
Last night I went to a Japanese restaurant to have late dinner at 9:30PM (I finished my work at 9PM). There were many young guys getting together in front of that restaurant. I know it's kinda dangerous to go out alone in the midnight, but what I can do? I was so hungry that I had to behave brave though I was afraid actually.
After entering the restaurant, the waiter asked me "how many people?" I said, "One." "Only one?" he seemed to be surprised by my answer. I was embarrassed, again.
Yeah, I have every dinner alone. Every time waiters would say "only one" with question marks. Hee, they don't know I not only eat alone but also travel alone because... I have no choice!
In fact, I don't like people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend. Most of new friends don't believe that I don't have a boyfriend... that really bothers me. I hate explaining my background again and again. Their curiosity lets me feel "guilty" for having no boyfriend.
I used to enjoying being alone, but not anymore. There are four poor reasons: First of all, in the KL, as a little girl alone here, I have to pretend strong and smart to deal with every event which I never face before. Second, get embarrassed when I go to restaurant or join a tour. Third, feel uncomfortable to answer new friends' questions. Fourth, have to make it clear that I'm not a picky girl but just have no chance.
It's weird... Why people think a young girl should have a boyfriend? Why I cannot have dinner alone? (hee hee, now I only choose those restaurants whose waiters don't ask me with "question mark" :)
It's more weird that I also start hating being alone...
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